In less than 12 hours.................

I will be a year older! I was born around 3:00 a.m. Birthdays typically as one approaches I get really really depressed BUT so far this year I have not. I think that even though life is QUITE stressful without a job...pain level increasing...money and medication issues and am not at a place where I am missing having a significant other (at least this week) yet I think what makes the biggest difference this year is that I feel like my spiritual life has grown in my faith and knowing how much God loves me crud that I am... and accepts me as I am and encourages me to change and grow in my relationship with Him and also my relationships with people who do love Jesus and people that do not. I have to be honest and say most times I have more problems with some "church people" who are judgemental and think that their church is it and such...I have to really watch myself to not be judgemental about those who judge and also those who are prejudice and such......It is SUCH A BLESSING and I am so glad that God led me to Central Vineyard. It continues to help me change and grow in being a person who loves Jesus and aims to love people the way that Jesus does. I have goals for this next year which I think is also helping me not be really depressed.....................find a job for one thing....have the bariatric operation within the next 12 months.... eat helthier....get control of the binging...share with more people about Jesus...NO I AM NOT talking about standing on a corner yelling about people and sin...no passing out pamphlets just sharing about Jesus who he is and how he has changed me etc........................I also am going to check out going to school online.....getting so I can go to therapy less.....volunteer some probably with other mental health consumers.....things like that........................
It has been another few days of LOTS of pain....I have not done much of anything this week except rest my legs...I have been on the computer less....answered the phone less....not gone out unless I really had to and even today I canceled my appontment at COVA....I did go to the library on Tuesday and stocked up on lots of books. I think that I am going to email my cousin and then put a load in the washer and one in the dryer and head to bed I think....probably now thinking of it will just put a load in the dryer and want to email my cousin and then call it a night...even though it is early. I have to get up early tomorrow to go to my therapy appointment and then have my appointment with my psychiatrist and then my Mom is picking me up and my sister Marianne and brother in law Johnny are meeting us for a birthday lunch and then I am going to run some errands and then call it a day and then on Friday I have no appointments so that will be good hoping on Friday and the weekend I can get some cleaning done and such......I am going to have some stuff done on my place in the next couple of months thanks to my mom (yeah mom) so might be posting about some things I am thinking about having done......O.L.
lj's for today............stack of books to read.......playing ball with Gracie....having a good conversation with Pat my new case manager....really great temperature out it is like 77 degrees...another book lj is most likely finishing the mystery that I am reading.....diet cherry pop.....and being it is the day before my birthday and I am not depressed. Anyone have lj's that they would like to share?