Downers amd Uppers.................
funny when i first read that after typing it i was thinking if anyone would think that i meant pills and if i had a relapse. NO not talking about pills and NO relapse. i was refering actually to today was full of some down times in the early part of today and then this afternoon it got better....the bad downer of the a.m. was awaking to mainstream be here to pick me up and i was still asleep! so gracie was going on and on barking with mainstream being here and my not going out to get my ride so i am sure that she woke up my the place above me and the one right beside me. i had to go tell the mainstream driver i had to cancel. so....................i did not make it to church at all today. it - it being the christmas service is very sweet and encouraging with just having carols and reading of scripture. i was supposed to go early so to help bethany get ready with the baked goods and i missed that. i really feel like a piece of crap for not being there for her. i have learned my lesson with sleeping over the couple times i had to get ready early that i cannot take all of my pills at night if the day is going to be a early start to the day. i did get back to sleep both gracie and i and we slept till early afternoon!
yesterday i got an unexpected check in the mail. i had know that it was coming but kind of forget about it and it was such such good timing for it to come. i really want to make sure that i spread it out and not to impulse buy or spend it on delivery foods. mom and i got together and had a good time. it sure got cold this afternoon went from the 40's and now it is 31 degrees. we went to get my haircut and it feels so so so much better. i am not sure why but she only charged me $!2.00 instead of the typical $15.00 so i was planning on spending $15.oo so i gave her a $3.00 tip and she was really blessed and of course not expecting that big of a tip. i go to first clips to get it done. we then went to the grocery store and to walgreens and now am back home i had lots of stuff in mom's trunk since some days recently when i shopped their was snow and or ice so we today got all of my stuff out of there which is goo0d in a few ways i did not want things to freeze and mom needs her trunk to carry food in the trunk for tomorrow plus need room to put the presents that we are taking and then gifts for when we return from springfield. so that was another good thing or upper as i put it before. i got almost every thing inside and will just need to make one more trip to the patio but it is laundry detergent so it is alright outside till later on tonight. so those things such as the check and such is a big joys...so is getting all of my stuff inside...some lj's are getting my hair cut...getting treats for gracie...looking foward to seeing my family....all the nephews and families....mom bought me two new shirts on sale today which is fun and most likey i wil wear one tomorrow. mom knows how i can have a mini freaout about what i wear since some of the family dress right in style and some are like me comfort rules...i have not tried them on yet but the colors are very pretty one is like salmom colored and the other kind of like baby blue and would look to dress them up or down but for it will be jeans comfy shoes and maybe a new shirt or maybe a sweatshirt.........
another bj for me is remembering as the slogan goes "the reason for the season" and the humble space whre Jesus was born....and how He came to earth so all of us humans can believe in Him and have eternal life.i am hoping that mom and i get back into town early enough to go to her church christmas eve service.
the family is chainging this year how we celebrate on christmas eve. my mom since my sister and brother in law were family my mom has hosted christmas eve at her home...that will be 35 years. when j and m got married mom did not want for them to feel hassled amd rushed going back and forth from his family and outs so mom said we could celebrate on christmas even and it has been great. i have lots of great memories of those gatherings. mom now lives in a one bedroom place so it is too small to have everyboday so my sister and bjil are hosting. it makes sense in many ways with mom being older...if they all came to where we live there would be like 4 cars or so driving an hour and so it is easier for mom and i to go to their town where my sister and j live..........twio nephews and family live about a half hour from them and one other and family live in west palm beach amd the other lives in st louis and all of them get to be there. ohe of my nephew and his wife wants a divorce so she will not be there but last time i heard she was letting the kids come. mom started crying in the car when she was talking about someone else hosting it this yar but she knows it is time and at her age too is is good year to switch. mom loves to cook so she is taking all of the deserts....and it is going to be a buffet of just dessets......chocolate cake that my neice i allergic to lots can have it....oreo balls...date nut pudding one with nuts and one without...oreo balls..and i am taking the pound cake cookies for my sister to enjoy this week with her coffee since they are kind of turned out like biscotte.
i enjoy getting together yet i still almost every year have at least one minor freak out not just with family but in stores and strangers and such. i typically take a book or a puzzle book to read if i need to escape some which my family is used to me giving myself a mental health time out. i am hoping that i do not get really in a freak out mode but am wondering if i will tonight...i am a bit freaked out a bit about concerned about not sleeping or sleeping and waking up late or get concerned and check over and over that i put some motrin and pain pills in my purse. i hope that if i have a minor freak out i can keep it either to myself or tell mom or my sister. my sister and bil have a great place loft apartment huge two bedroom place and it is great but there two or three flights of steps to get to their place...i just do better if i do it myself and just take my time. and not have someone right there with me and their is a banister on both sides so that will help. i am sure that i will have lots to share tomorrow evening and/or christmas day. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE. I HOPE THAT THE HOLIDAYS WILL BE BLESSES WITH GOOD TIMES WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND PEACE AND JOY and some internal peace for those of us who struggle with vairous mental illnesses.
yesterday i got an unexpected check in the mail. i had know that it was coming but kind of forget about it and it was such such good timing for it to come. i really want to make sure that i spread it out and not to impulse buy or spend it on delivery foods. mom and i got together and had a good time. it sure got cold this afternoon went from the 40's and now it is 31 degrees. we went to get my haircut and it feels so so so much better. i am not sure why but she only charged me $!2.00 instead of the typical $15.00 so i was planning on spending $15.oo so i gave her a $3.00 tip and she was really blessed and of course not expecting that big of a tip. i go to first clips to get it done. we then went to the grocery store and to walgreens and now am back home i had lots of stuff in mom's trunk since some days recently when i shopped their was snow and or ice so we today got all of my stuff out of there which is goo0d in a few ways i did not want things to freeze and mom needs her trunk to carry food in the trunk for tomorrow plus need room to put the presents that we are taking and then gifts for when we return from springfield. so that was another good thing or upper as i put it before. i got almost every thing inside and will just need to make one more trip to the patio but it is laundry detergent so it is alright outside till later on tonight. so those things such as the check and such is a big joys...so is getting all of my stuff inside...some lj's are getting my hair cut...getting treats for gracie...looking foward to seeing my family....all the nephews and families....mom bought me two new shirts on sale today which is fun and most likey i wil wear one tomorrow. mom knows how i can have a mini freaout about what i wear since some of the family dress right in style and some are like me comfort rules...i have not tried them on yet but the colors are very pretty one is like salmom colored and the other kind of like baby blue and would look to dress them up or down but for it will be jeans comfy shoes and maybe a new shirt or maybe a sweatshirt.........
another bj for me is remembering as the slogan goes "the reason for the season" and the humble space whre Jesus was born....and how He came to earth so all of us humans can believe in Him and have eternal life.i am hoping that mom and i get back into town early enough to go to her church christmas eve service.
the family is chainging this year how we celebrate on christmas eve. my mom since my sister and brother in law were family my mom has hosted christmas eve at her home...that will be 35 years. when j and m got married mom did not want for them to feel hassled amd rushed going back and forth from his family and outs so mom said we could celebrate on christmas even and it has been great. i have lots of great memories of those gatherings. mom now lives in a one bedroom place so it is too small to have everyboday so my sister and bjil are hosting. it makes sense in many ways with mom being older...if they all came to where we live there would be like 4 cars or so driving an hour and so it is easier for mom and i to go to their town where my sister and j live..........twio nephews and family live about a half hour from them and one other and family live in west palm beach amd the other lives in st louis and all of them get to be there. ohe of my nephew and his wife wants a divorce so she will not be there but last time i heard she was letting the kids come. mom started crying in the car when she was talking about someone else hosting it this yar but she knows it is time and at her age too is is good year to switch. mom loves to cook so she is taking all of the deserts....and it is going to be a buffet of just dessets......chocolate cake that my neice i allergic to lots can have it....oreo balls...date nut pudding one with nuts and one without...oreo balls..and i am taking the pound cake cookies for my sister to enjoy this week with her coffee since they are kind of turned out like biscotte.
i enjoy getting together yet i still almost every year have at least one minor freak out not just with family but in stores and strangers and such. i typically take a book or a puzzle book to read if i need to escape some which my family is used to me giving myself a mental health time out. i am hoping that i do not get really in a freak out mode but am wondering if i will tonight...i am a bit freaked out a bit about concerned about not sleeping or sleeping and waking up late or get concerned and check over and over that i put some motrin and pain pills in my purse. i hope that if i have a minor freak out i can keep it either to myself or tell mom or my sister. my sister and bil have a great place loft apartment huge two bedroom place and it is great but there two or three flights of steps to get to their place...i just do better if i do it myself and just take my time. and not have someone right there with me and their is a banister on both sides so that will help. i am sure that i will have lots to share tomorrow evening and/or christmas day. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE. I HOPE THAT THE HOLIDAYS WILL BE BLESSES WITH GOOD TIMES WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND PEACE AND JOY and some internal peace for those of us who struggle with vairous mental illnesses.
posted by mosiacmind at 3:14 PM
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