isolation mode

i have been trying to force myself to do things outside of my place and sometimes it works and sometimes it does not work. i have made it to all of my appointments that i had so far this week. i did not go to small group on monday but did go to the ed support group last evening and it was intense and very difficult for me to stay yet i did. i had an appointment at cova this afternoon and then late lunch with mom and then some checking out prices of some items at home depot and back home and it it so good to be back home just gracie and i! i am exhausted and my goal is to try to stay awake until 10:00 because i have been in a sleeping mode....i think last night I slept from like 11:30 p.m. till 12:00 p.m. i have an appointment with nan tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. and it is strange i almost get in a panic if i think that i cannot be in bed 10 hours or more. i am thinking that it has less to do with the sleep then with isolation mode. i signed up go to a woman's retreat at church it is in like two weeks. i hope to get rides back and forth because i do not do well sleeping away from my place plus if i did go for the whole weekend i would have to board gracie and plus i just get in a total chaos mode if i even think about spending the weekend around people even though many of the people i know and like.
i have this mug that has a saying on it " peace it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise,trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and be calm in your heart" unkown. the saying is something that i have been thinking about and cry out to jesus about.