MUCH MUCH BETTER DAY..............

for which I am thankful for and relieved about. Yesterday I was able to call my mom back and own my own crap and apologize to her. My therapy session was hard in the sense that I cried most of it but good in that Nan had some good ideas and good thoughts for me to think about. I went to my small group and even though due to Mainstream I arrived somewhat late and had to leave early it was good to be there and I really took away alot to ponder on a message of Rich's we listened to about the poor. I have been SO BLESSED by all of the help that I have gotten from the small group and from Central Vineyard in helping with utilities and groceries and some medications and all of the prayers and concern....after hearing the message I have been pondering much....about how blessed I am yet without the help as I listed above and help from my mom I could be homeless...it has been a HUGE blessing to have my mom buy this condo for me and she has said she wanted to know that I would always have a place to live...and even when I am working things are rough let alone when I am not. I have thought about friends I have who have done things such as prostitute or dance in a strip club so that they could buy food for their kids or pay the rent....I thought about a friend of mine who would lie to her son and tell him she had eaten when he was outside playing or at a friends house when in reality they had not much food so she would go without so he could eat....I have learned also from my life that when people are poor they stick together and help each other as much as they can and even share food stamps and such....when my friend and her son were having such a rough time it was mostly those of us who were also poor who helped out more then even at times her working siblings or even the chid's dad....and I read someone's blog who is on disability and is always helping out those around him with food or a few bucks when he can....just something I have been thinking about....so now about today.......................
I had a really great appointment with my family doctor and she was really supportive and answered some of my questions about the operations and she suggested that I do the more invasive one since I have lots of weight to lose and also since I really am in good health right now except for my legs....my heart is good...the cholesterol is fine....lungs are good.....and such. She also agreed that perhaps a eating disorder inpatient would be good so that I can deal with the binging and have it under control before the operation. She also gave me an rx for a new medication to take that hopefully will help the pain better since it is getting more acute. The doctor also said she thought that when I lost the weight much of the pain would go away and also that the numbness and falling would be taken care of. Tonight my friend September and I are going to the info meeting about it....I continue to in general get more exited then scared which I truly believe in many ways is God's working then mine. I was able to get my haircut for the first time in months which feels so great and got to run some errands done and also had a good time with my mom....................so as I said MUCH MUCH BETTER DAY! I am hoping that my meeting on Thursday with JFS goes well and I can get some help even if it is temporary.