It has been almost a week.................

since I last posted anything not sure why.......it has been a time of lots of downs and some ups. I have really enjoyed the times that I have spent with people socializing such as at Kara's shower on Saturday and on Sunday my friend September and her mom Dee hosted a Mother's Day tea and it was fun and also Peggy who is September's mother-in-law came and also Autumn who is September's oldest daughter she is 16 hung out with us before she went to work. Yesterday I hung out with Maureen and that was good too...Maureen is very easy to talk to and loves to laugh which I also do and it seems like we can cover lots of subjects when we get together....so those were all good times....I still am having LOTS of bipolar symptoms going on and the new medication will take about a month plus to get it to the theraputic level so it has been tough. I am really frustrated with eating and weight and such and have been thinking LOTS about inpatient treatment and/or more intensive outpatient treatment and also thinking about in a year or so perhaps having the lapband operation and the reason I say a year or so is I would have to lose weight in order to be elgible. I also have been thinking of inpatient at a place where they deal with what is called super obese and I think if I was able to go to a place for like a month and could get on a really healthy meal and snack plan and shown what exercises to do that would help me and that would not make my pain level lots worse...there is a place around Cleveland Ohio and one in the state of New York. Lack of money is really really tough right now.....the payee I have messed up on payments to AEP so in addition to what is budgeted for the payee to send out in June I have to pay an aditional $200.00 in order for the electric to stay on...I am needing to get a new rx filled of my pain medication which will be a few hundred so need to check around and find people willing to donate...let me borrow...etc it is a very difficult thing for me to ask people yet I need to do so because of needing to have the electric stay on...needing the pain medication which I really do a great job of stretching the rx out...this one I have 3 pills left out of a rx of 60 and I got the rx filled about two months ago so I stretched one month rx into two and try to just take the edge off of the pain like take it from an 8 to a 5....and i will need to ask for help with simple things like groceries soon also. I had a great morning yesterday but the afternoon was really rough....my leg went numb like it does often ( feels strange when in one part of your leg you have acute pain and the other is numb and you cannot feel much) so I got up and why I am not sure was not thinking I guess I tried to take a step on my numb leg and of course went crashing down on the floor and as hard as I fell and hitting the coffee table with my back and trying to catch myself another not thinking I guess I am really surprized and blesed that I did not break any bones! I was and am QUITE sore and am in lots of pain today and last night and my right thumb and wrist is feeling like I sprained them and it is hard at times to use my right hand like to carry things and to write with a pen so I stayed home from the support group that I had planned to go to and went to bed early and had one of my nights full of tears lots and lots of tears.
Today I went to COVA and had my appointment with Cory my career developer/job coach and we saw an ad that I applied for and the job has lots of positives for me....it is at Arlingworth Nursing Home which is a really nice place and I know that because my friend September used to work there and my mom was in the rehab part for a few weeks after she had a knee replaced...it is about a block or two from where I live so easy to get to...it is for a p.t. receptionist and it is evenings and weekends and looks to be about 20 -24 hours a week depending on if it was a weekend one worked. I am really exited about this and it would be the type of job that I would really enjoy! I am thinking the only thing that might be against me is that I am not willing to work on a Sunday morning on a regular basis...I would fill in on occasion but would not do that on a regular basis but working in the evenings and on the afternnons on weekends I would like lots.....and was talking with Cory that with being so close that if someone like called in sick it would be easy for me to pick that shift up. I have been filling so so very discouraged about not having a job and got really exited today about this possible one. Tomorrow I am going to be running some errands with mom and then my plan is to in the next couple of days apply for help with medications and such....again not sure why I went almsot a week without posting but hopeing that I will get back into my routine of doing it more.