Bad Night........Better Day I think...............

first off I wanted to say that I am enjoying having some new readers. I also wanted to let those new readers know that I will read their blogs yet often something weird with my computer is that I often cannot comment on people's blogs so know that I am reading and also will probably maybe try to communicate some via email if my computer is doing whatever weird thing that it does.
i am more confused now about the spendown and all of that stuff so set up an appointment to see one of the benefits counselors where i get help in looking and keeping a job. i had decided that it was probably best to not work so that i could get the rx coverage but now it looks like i could work a bit and keep the benefits and so between not taking all of my medications ( due to not having some of them) and then going a few weeks with just taking them like a few times a week (wanting to space out what i did have) before this week and my stress level being so intense and my sleep is well just not happening much and the past week plus if i do sleep i either wake myself up screaming with nightmares or wake up and see people and things that are not really there...such fun and then add to that women issues and money issues i decided that it is no wonder that i am having a rough time and that i should get off of my own back about having a rough time.
so one thing that helps me is to think of little joy aka as lj's. my ex it was something that she did and it was to think and remember things that are not huge but make a day better....such as like a phone call from someone(enjoyed talking to elanore last evening)...or knowing someone is reading your blog....having change today to get a drink from the vending machine at cova....getting ready to enjoy some trader joes kung pao noodles and sauce....watching gracie bask in the sun on the patio...she is such a sweetie and such a delight and i love her dearly....speaking of dogs one thing for sure gracie is such a help when i am seeing things and hearing things that are not really there because if i see her and she is all calm and or like last night still sleeping i know it is just in my head.
one more positive from this week is that i found out yesterday who my new case manager is and his name and extension so that is good to know that i have a new one and such. i have not tried to get a hold of him yet but probably will soon.