Feeling very gross.....

and sinful and how can I have Jesus in me and be such a bitch at times! I got back from spending time with my Mom and we went out to eat and then went shopping and had a really good time until we got back to my place and she is trying to help me carry things in and I get worried about her falling on the ice and even though I asked her just to wait and carry things like half way where it is not icey she went ahead trying to help and I just got really snippy and rude and then upset with myself and then once I got inside my place is when I just am feeling as I said really gross and sinful bcause of my mouth. I repented to God and will write mom an email later and apologize and I know part of the " mood swings" which are actually d.i.d. most of the time kicking in are part of the mental illnesses it just makes me so so so frustrated at times. I know that in reality I get nervous thinking she will fall while helping me and if she breaks something that everyone will get mad at me for having her help me when in reality most people who know her know she is very very very strong headed and when she gets something that she is going to do in her head she is going to do it.....anyway thank God for being such a loving and gracious God even when I am acting so very very human. Onto another topic after being in since Monday afternoon it was really good to get outside! I have plans to go out with Beth a woman I know from my old job and we have connected some by phone since we both got laid off...Sunday is church and then my mom and my friend September and her mom are having lunch together so that will be fun.