Friday
today has been sure an up and down today yet now i am doing much better. my sleep has been chaotic with nightmares and night triggers and such. mom and i got out today so i could pick up an rx and got some taco bell and rode around a bit. i had gracie with us and wow does that dog love love to ride and is really great to have in the car. she lays down and unless she sees something like a big dog or men who are not her favorite people she is quiet and often times is asleep. mom and i joked about if i could somehow put together something in my home that simulated riding in the car she would love it and be a much quieter dog i think.............: )
tonight is one of the small groups that i go to. it will be good for me to get out and go yet i am concerned that i will cry which is not a bad thing i just do not like to cry in front of people except perhaps nan my therapist or a doctor. i do know though that people who go to the group really do care for me. oh the other group i go to t and j had their baby w this week! she is to come home today t is and with their new son. i am soooooooooo happy for them. i am so happy answer to prayers that he is here to begin with and both are doing well. yahoo.....babies such as newborns are so fun and cute and smell good most of the time with all the powder and such. : 0 )
i have to return my library books soon. i also want to get back into reading. anyone have any good books ideas? i do read almost everything except horror and really scarey things. i can deal with mystery as long as it is more trying to figure it all out and not lots of gross things and such like i like to see if i can figure out law and order shows and such like that.
i am not sure if i mentioned about making some cards with statements about courage and made about 52 of them and gave them to nan so that they can use them in her practice or with the partal program well the people who work at the partial all thanked me and gave me a card which was really sweet. well i am thinking of making cards like the ones i made and also some about faith and mail them to will so he can use them where he works. i enjoy doing them plus it makes me feel useful. it is not like real creative yet i do feel that way since it is kind of creative deciding which ones i decide to use and what paper and pen i use. i miss will right now. please do not think that i dislike nan because nan is also a great therapist but just really connected in many ways with will PLUS i think if it was not for his intervention that i would have a few years ago gone way way way downhill and perhaps made a life time decision for a temporary decision aka commiting suicide. after that all i am not EVER suicidal anymore. thank you God! and thank you GOD for putting people in my life like nan and will and many many people at church too. does anyone who reads this like keeping bible verses or affirmations or statements around to help?
i know this sounds silly but i am still finding myself addicted to gum!!!! i am sure glad that i do not smoke i would have diseased lungs and lots of money going into smokes. i am not trying to dis anyone who smokes just sharing my own stuff. i do get concerned about people who do smoke because it is hard on one but so is overeating too which i do that.
tonight is one of the small groups that i go to. it will be good for me to get out and go yet i am concerned that i will cry which is not a bad thing i just do not like to cry in front of people except perhaps nan my therapist or a doctor. i do know though that people who go to the group really do care for me. oh the other group i go to t and j had their baby w this week! she is to come home today t is and with their new son. i am soooooooooo happy for them. i am so happy answer to prayers that he is here to begin with and both are doing well. yahoo.....babies such as newborns are so fun and cute and smell good most of the time with all the powder and such. : 0 )
i have to return my library books soon. i also want to get back into reading. anyone have any good books ideas? i do read almost everything except horror and really scarey things. i can deal with mystery as long as it is more trying to figure it all out and not lots of gross things and such like i like to see if i can figure out law and order shows and such like that.
i am not sure if i mentioned about making some cards with statements about courage and made about 52 of them and gave them to nan so that they can use them in her practice or with the partal program well the people who work at the partial all thanked me and gave me a card which was really sweet. well i am thinking of making cards like the ones i made and also some about faith and mail them to will so he can use them where he works. i enjoy doing them plus it makes me feel useful. it is not like real creative yet i do feel that way since it is kind of creative deciding which ones i decide to use and what paper and pen i use. i miss will right now. please do not think that i dislike nan because nan is also a great therapist but just really connected in many ways with will PLUS i think if it was not for his intervention that i would have a few years ago gone way way way downhill and perhaps made a life time decision for a temporary decision aka commiting suicide. after that all i am not EVER suicidal anymore. thank you God! and thank you GOD for putting people in my life like nan and will and many many people at church too. does anyone who reads this like keeping bible verses or affirmations or statements around to help?
i know this sounds silly but i am still finding myself addicted to gum!!!! i am sure glad that i do not smoke i would have diseased lungs and lots of money going into smokes. i am not trying to dis anyone who smokes just sharing my own stuff. i do get concerned about people who do smoke because it is hard on one but so is overeating too which i do that.
posted by mosiacmind at 1:55 PM
2 Comments:
Hi!
Gosh, you're always so busy, that's a good thing though :)
It's okay to cry, people know you're human. It you don't cry, you'll just push it down & it gets worse. The most horrible thing for me is when I cry alone -- they are my loneliest hours & lately there have been many of them.
Now, about the gum -- I used to chew gum all the time. I think it's becuz I was so anxious but it helped. I'd take a piece after breakfast, go to work & chew it all day long, then all night again until I went to bed. Now that I write about it, I realize I quit chewing it. As you said, it could be worse, you could be smoking & that is so difficult to quit. My husband smokes & it's awful. He doesn't smoke in our home but his clothing smells like it. He's tried to quit many times but hasn't stopped yet.
I'm glad you stopped by my blog, if you have a minute, go back again plez. I'm having a bad too, sometimes it makes us feel better knowing we are not alone with such days.
Chew the gum & do the cry, you just may feel better :)
Kirs ~
I agree, it is hard to cry in front of people, but I imagine your group is a very safe place to have feelings and you will feel better at the end.
It sounds like you have had terrific support people in your life. How lucky for you.
I like gum, too. I find that I can chomp on it and make too much noise. But it is a good stress reliever!
Have a nice evening
Lena
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