Afternoon at the Library
i spent the afternoon at the library. i can always spend hours and hours at a library. today was the second time since I quit working at the main library downtown that i went to that location....it is a mixture of thoughts and feelings when i do go there...there are things that i miss about working there and things that i really do not miss. i talked with jimmy a man i know who works there and he said that it had gotten really bad to work there and he would not encourage me to try to apply again to work there. i know that i would not be hired anyway because now if you are out on the main floor you cannot sit down.
mainstream came early for me so i was not quite ready so had to hurry to get my shoes on and get gracies food out and such but i made it but had not taken the time to eat yet so had to grab something at the library. java master has a location at the library and today they had some sandwiches along with the goodies so i did eat a sandwich and also indulged in my all time favorite frozen coffee drink which is called a milkyway freeze....so yummy! i still owe some fines so cannot check out books in the columbus library system but did peruse a few books and wrote down the titles to remember to read another time. i can check out books from the upper arlington library system so will look for the books there. i feel really crappy about something that happened.....i went into the library and got my sandwich and drink and there are tables where one can eat because one cannot eat in the library but you can take in drinks...so i am enjoying my sandwich and this guy next table over says hi and i say hi and then he says his name and what is yours and by that time i was done with my sandwich and just said excuse me and left to go into the library. he might have been a really nice guy and perhaps as often times at that library being downtown the homeless population hangs out in a warm place and maybe wanted a cup of coffee or something and i just was rude and walked away. i felt crappy because typically i am often times more comfortable talking with people who are homeless or struggle with mental illnesses and 12 step people then talking with "typical" people......so i felt really crappy about it and asked God to forgive me. i was i guess just so focused on wanting to read and look at books that is why. i just feel like if someone needs something and asks who am i to not give some help if i can do so and if i give them some money and that person chooses not to have coffee but to buy some beer or such that is their choice.....o.k. did not mean to get onto a tangent just needed to share that i feel really crappy about not being kind to another human being.
gracie was so so so glad to see me when i got home which she always is but more so when i have to leave in a hurry to go someplace like this afternoon. i ordered a salad from the pizza place like a block from my place and when the delivery guy came to the door gracie ran into me and i lost my balance and caught myself but now my ankle is hurting more than usual and i am wondering if i sprained it...i plan to just prop it up later on while i knit and i already took my pain medication and motrin so that should kick in soon. i am kind of mad at myself since i ate out lunch and then ordered dinner but i enjoy the salads and i find with living by myself it is hard to get a huge variety of things for a salad and for them to stay fresh...gosh as i reread this i have been on myself lots today haven't i? i am sure too that part of it is because i did not take my meds today mainly because of having to rush to get to the mainstream bus..............well let me think here of some lj's for today...............milkyway freeze....enjoying the conversation i had at the librar with a young woman who i know from church....eric one of the security guards at the library tell me he missed me....finding some books that i am eager to read in the future....the feeling one gets when you arrive home and your dog is so so exited to see you and makes you think you are the best thing in the world to her....checking out some blogs that some of them i have read before and some i have not.............
mainstream came early for me so i was not quite ready so had to hurry to get my shoes on and get gracies food out and such but i made it but had not taken the time to eat yet so had to grab something at the library. java master has a location at the library and today they had some sandwiches along with the goodies so i did eat a sandwich and also indulged in my all time favorite frozen coffee drink which is called a milkyway freeze....so yummy! i still owe some fines so cannot check out books in the columbus library system but did peruse a few books and wrote down the titles to remember to read another time. i can check out books from the upper arlington library system so will look for the books there. i feel really crappy about something that happened.....i went into the library and got my sandwich and drink and there are tables where one can eat because one cannot eat in the library but you can take in drinks...so i am enjoying my sandwich and this guy next table over says hi and i say hi and then he says his name and what is yours and by that time i was done with my sandwich and just said excuse me and left to go into the library. he might have been a really nice guy and perhaps as often times at that library being downtown the homeless population hangs out in a warm place and maybe wanted a cup of coffee or something and i just was rude and walked away. i felt crappy because typically i am often times more comfortable talking with people who are homeless or struggle with mental illnesses and 12 step people then talking with "typical" people......so i felt really crappy about it and asked God to forgive me. i was i guess just so focused on wanting to read and look at books that is why. i just feel like if someone needs something and asks who am i to not give some help if i can do so and if i give them some money and that person chooses not to have coffee but to buy some beer or such that is their choice.....o.k. did not mean to get onto a tangent just needed to share that i feel really crappy about not being kind to another human being.
gracie was so so so glad to see me when i got home which she always is but more so when i have to leave in a hurry to go someplace like this afternoon. i ordered a salad from the pizza place like a block from my place and when the delivery guy came to the door gracie ran into me and i lost my balance and caught myself but now my ankle is hurting more than usual and i am wondering if i sprained it...i plan to just prop it up later on while i knit and i already took my pain medication and motrin so that should kick in soon. i am kind of mad at myself since i ate out lunch and then ordered dinner but i enjoy the salads and i find with living by myself it is hard to get a huge variety of things for a salad and for them to stay fresh...gosh as i reread this i have been on myself lots today haven't i? i am sure too that part of it is because i did not take my meds today mainly because of having to rush to get to the mainstream bus..............well let me think here of some lj's for today...............milkyway freeze....enjoying the conversation i had at the librar with a young woman who i know from church....eric one of the security guards at the library tell me he missed me....finding some books that i am eager to read in the future....the feeling one gets when you arrive home and your dog is so so exited to see you and makes you think you are the best thing in the world to her....checking out some blogs that some of them i have read before and some i have not.............
posted by mosiacmind at 3:46 PM
2 Comments:
Libraries are a great place to hang out. I love them, too.
It is OK that you finished your sandwich and left the area and the man behind. You were friendly and acknowledged him, I don't think you were rude at all!!
I loved that one of your lj's was when you came home to your dog. I used to have a dog years ago and that was always such a wonderful feeling to come home to her.
Another one of my lj's today was to get a manicure.
Take care,
Lena
Sounds like you had a good day. I am proud for you. I am on day 3 without all my medications, but the risperdal. I am having serious withdrawal with some weird feelings. I hope this passes.
I was missing you tonight and decided to stop by to see if you updated. I was overjoyed to see a post! It is so good to have you blogging again! Good night and sleep tight dear friend!
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