It has been way too long.................
since I have posted! I am not sure why it has been so long....but anyway I have missed keeping up with my blogger buddies and also sharing with them also. So let me think here....my sister's biopsies came back fine. I am wondering though with all of her problems if the doctors might still want to do a hysterectomy. She is still having some severe pain and numbness.....it is kind of interesting because I have the same thing but I know that hers cannot be due to weight since she is so so tiny.
One of the biggest things that has occured is my nephew Brendan and Courtney's wedding. I think that I have shared that even when I am doing great with the mental illnesses that traveling is quite difficult for me and being away from home at night is even more difficult...well I asked lots of people to pray and talked about it LOTS with my therapist and case manager and doctor...so the trip went way way way better than I thought it would yet now that I am home it seems like I am unraveling....maybe because of the trip....maybe because the reality of October is more present in my thoughts.....and added to that my pain has been way way way more but more on all of that later on.
The trip to where the wedding was just took about 2 and 1/2 hours and most likely would not have taken that long if the directions we got off of mapuest were off a bit. Jordan and Jerah and Hunter and mom and I rode in the same car. Jordan drove the rental car....we decided we needed a bigger car since Hunter was coming with us and yes he is just six years of age yet he needs room to not feel as he said squished. Hunter did fantastic on the way there and had brought his walkman and earphones so most of the time listened to music. Jordan and I were in the front and got a good time of talking about what is going on with him and his life and Jerah and mom talked in the back. We stopped once to eat some lunch and it was at a road stop so Hunter could run some. We got to the hotel and it is the most fancy hotel that I EVER EVER have been too! I think for everyone except for Brendan and Courtney it was the same the fanciest place we have ever stayed. I am thankful that due to lots of people staying there with the wedding the rooms were half off. The location had two resterants on site one was similar to like an upscale TGI Fridays and the other one was more elite. Everyone in the family except mom and I were at the rehursal dinner and such so it was good that there was a place there that we could eat. The food was fantastic and the service was incredible! Mom and I ate their for both dinner and for brunch. I did so so so good on Friday and actually was enjoying the trip. Mom was very kind in letting me have space when I needed to do so like after we got there and got our rooms I needed to go unwind so I unwound for two hours or so until the time we decided to meet for dinner. We had some good conversation at dinner and then I was ready again to be alone so went to my room and was there until bruch at 10:30 the next morning....we had gotten a later check out and so we got most of the way ready for the wedding and then had brunch and then hung out with some of the rest of the family for a bit before getting dressed and ready to go to the wedding....I still was doing really good for me with not having panic attacks and anxiety but it was creeping up on me so I did take some medication before the wedding.
The wedding was beautiful with the groomsmen wearing black tuxes and the bridesmaids wearing deep brown tea length dresses and the flowers were all in fall colors of oranges and reds and yellows and salmons and Courtney carried cream colored roses and her dress was strapless dress with like an ivory slip for all of the length of it and then lace was the material of the dress like reminded me of an old fashioned lace tablecloth it was very beautiful and had pearl buttons all the way down in the back of the dress...she looked like a princess! It was so so sweet to see Brendan's HUGE grin when she was walking down the aisle.
The reception was held at a country club and the best way I think to desribe it was that the reception was very upscale and very laid back. The appitizers were incredible as was the dinner. I started to get really nervous with meeting people and such there so had to take another anti anxiety pill but was better one it kicked in. I enjoyed meeting Bruce who is a good friend of Brendan's who has done lots for Brendan with being roommates and Bruce owns his own company and Brendan works there and such. The dinner was held about an half hour plus after we got there and there were assigned tables I got to sit with Mom and Jordan and Jerah and Hunter and Cheryl who is another aunt of Brendan and her husband Bill. It was nice to know everyone there at the table. Hunter again did so great! I was amazed since this was the second fancy dinner he had to sit through in less than 24 hours and being away from home etc etc...Jordan and I decided we were ready to leave once we got dessert so Mom and Jerah agreed and we said our good byes and changed from fancy clothes to comfy ones to drive back. The only thing that we missed was the dancing and so that was fine and I was so glad that Jordan said he was ready to go....on a very sweet note my sister Marianne did not know she was going to be asked by Brendan to dance and he did and the song he chose was "unforgettable" wow what a teary time I would have if I had watched that! We had a great trip back...Hunter had one very mini meltdown but it was easily fixed when Uncle Jordan was able to get the cd player working again. We stopped once on the way back home for bathroom and drink breaks and got back home at a good time. The next day I had to be at church early like normal and was so afraid that since I was so tired that I would oversleep so that was the third night I had not really slept.....thursday I did not sleep worrying about the trip....friday did not sleep because of being in a different place and bed and such and exitement too about the wedding so by Sunday evening I went to sleep around 8:30 which is early for me and went to sleep without any of my evening meds and slept through the night so I was really tired.
So........................good weekend and then last night and today WHAM it I am not sure what if it was backlash from the trip or if it was it being October or if all of the worries I have been having but kind of got put on hold the weekend or what but I was a emotional and physical mess plus my pain level was really really extreme so but better tonight but am planning on heading to bed somewhat early for me I think. I really wanted to clean today but that did not get done well not much at all got done except my crying and crying and playing with and cuddling Gracie and computer games. Gracie did great they said being boarded but she has sure wanted to be velcroed to me since then...I am so grateful to have her. So what is new with everyone who reads this.................catch me up on your lives please
One of the biggest things that has occured is my nephew Brendan and Courtney's wedding. I think that I have shared that even when I am doing great with the mental illnesses that traveling is quite difficult for me and being away from home at night is even more difficult...well I asked lots of people to pray and talked about it LOTS with my therapist and case manager and doctor...so the trip went way way way better than I thought it would yet now that I am home it seems like I am unraveling....maybe because of the trip....maybe because the reality of October is more present in my thoughts.....and added to that my pain has been way way way more but more on all of that later on.
The trip to where the wedding was just took about 2 and 1/2 hours and most likely would not have taken that long if the directions we got off of mapuest were off a bit. Jordan and Jerah and Hunter and mom and I rode in the same car. Jordan drove the rental car....we decided we needed a bigger car since Hunter was coming with us and yes he is just six years of age yet he needs room to not feel as he said squished. Hunter did fantastic on the way there and had brought his walkman and earphones so most of the time listened to music. Jordan and I were in the front and got a good time of talking about what is going on with him and his life and Jerah and mom talked in the back. We stopped once to eat some lunch and it was at a road stop so Hunter could run some. We got to the hotel and it is the most fancy hotel that I EVER EVER have been too! I think for everyone except for Brendan and Courtney it was the same the fanciest place we have ever stayed. I am thankful that due to lots of people staying there with the wedding the rooms were half off. The location had two resterants on site one was similar to like an upscale TGI Fridays and the other one was more elite. Everyone in the family except mom and I were at the rehursal dinner and such so it was good that there was a place there that we could eat. The food was fantastic and the service was incredible! Mom and I ate their for both dinner and for brunch. I did so so so good on Friday and actually was enjoying the trip. Mom was very kind in letting me have space when I needed to do so like after we got there and got our rooms I needed to go unwind so I unwound for two hours or so until the time we decided to meet for dinner. We had some good conversation at dinner and then I was ready again to be alone so went to my room and was there until bruch at 10:30 the next morning....we had gotten a later check out and so we got most of the way ready for the wedding and then had brunch and then hung out with some of the rest of the family for a bit before getting dressed and ready to go to the wedding....I still was doing really good for me with not having panic attacks and anxiety but it was creeping up on me so I did take some medication before the wedding.
The wedding was beautiful with the groomsmen wearing black tuxes and the bridesmaids wearing deep brown tea length dresses and the flowers were all in fall colors of oranges and reds and yellows and salmons and Courtney carried cream colored roses and her dress was strapless dress with like an ivory slip for all of the length of it and then lace was the material of the dress like reminded me of an old fashioned lace tablecloth it was very beautiful and had pearl buttons all the way down in the back of the dress...she looked like a princess! It was so so sweet to see Brendan's HUGE grin when she was walking down the aisle.
The reception was held at a country club and the best way I think to desribe it was that the reception was very upscale and very laid back. The appitizers were incredible as was the dinner. I started to get really nervous with meeting people and such there so had to take another anti anxiety pill but was better one it kicked in. I enjoyed meeting Bruce who is a good friend of Brendan's who has done lots for Brendan with being roommates and Bruce owns his own company and Brendan works there and such. The dinner was held about an half hour plus after we got there and there were assigned tables I got to sit with Mom and Jordan and Jerah and Hunter and Cheryl who is another aunt of Brendan and her husband Bill. It was nice to know everyone there at the table. Hunter again did so great! I was amazed since this was the second fancy dinner he had to sit through in less than 24 hours and being away from home etc etc...Jordan and I decided we were ready to leave once we got dessert so Mom and Jerah agreed and we said our good byes and changed from fancy clothes to comfy ones to drive back. The only thing that we missed was the dancing and so that was fine and I was so glad that Jordan said he was ready to go....on a very sweet note my sister Marianne did not know she was going to be asked by Brendan to dance and he did and the song he chose was "unforgettable" wow what a teary time I would have if I had watched that! We had a great trip back...Hunter had one very mini meltdown but it was easily fixed when Uncle Jordan was able to get the cd player working again. We stopped once on the way back home for bathroom and drink breaks and got back home at a good time. The next day I had to be at church early like normal and was so afraid that since I was so tired that I would oversleep so that was the third night I had not really slept.....thursday I did not sleep worrying about the trip....friday did not sleep because of being in a different place and bed and such and exitement too about the wedding so by Sunday evening I went to sleep around 8:30 which is early for me and went to sleep without any of my evening meds and slept through the night so I was really tired.
So........................good weekend and then last night and today WHAM it I am not sure what if it was backlash from the trip or if it was it being October or if all of the worries I have been having but kind of got put on hold the weekend or what but I was a emotional and physical mess plus my pain level was really really extreme so but better tonight but am planning on heading to bed somewhat early for me I think. I really wanted to clean today but that did not get done well not much at all got done except my crying and crying and playing with and cuddling Gracie and computer games. Gracie did great they said being boarded but she has sure wanted to be velcroed to me since then...I am so grateful to have her. So what is new with everyone who reads this.................catch me up on your lives please
posted by mosiacmind at 3:22 PM
1 Comments:
Hang strong...the highs of a trip away combined with the lows of back to reality..I always get really cranky and moody when I return from being somewhere..any over night place..my mind..goes glitzey.
THinking of You!!
Always,
Crusty~
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