What to say........................

I have not gotten back into blogger world like I thought I would when October was over....mainly due to November is kicking my butt emotionally with the mental illnesses. I also had thought that again when October was over that food would get back on track and better choices and such and that has not happened either. I am rethinking AGAIN about going inpatient treatment for the eating disorder YET it is hard to find a place that will take me due to my size being what the medical field considers super obese and then with the mental illnesses that complicates things also.
I know that part of what is going on with me is that I do not deal with the time change and it getting dark so early and it makes me not want to get out when it is dark so that creates more isolation.....it has been an interesting week..
i found out that my case manager the best case manager i ever have had is looking to go to get his masters so will be leaving when he gets in....i did learn today how to do some basic knitting stiches and cast on and such and i really enjoyed it and who knows maybe i will have a new hobby...a mainstream bus was involved in a really bad accident where a truck (not a semi) ran into five cars and the busy and the bus was totaled. it really got me to thinking about life and death and how God must want me on earth and that i have purpose because the bus that was in the accident had just dropped me off and when i heard about it i was told that if there had been passengers in the bus they most likely would have been killed because some giant tool boxes came flying through and breaking out windows by where the passengers sit!....so that has had me pondering much! i did decide i am going to REALLY put forth effort to keep track of when and what i eat and also push myself to go swim during the day a couple times a week and that will help me not only physically yet it will help me not isolate also. i also find myself wanting to do more spiritually and then do not do things like read the bible everyday and i know God is calling me to interceed for people and causes and i have been doing lousy at that this week and i really want to be able to do some missions but am really doubting that with all of my mental illnesses and physical limitations that will not happen ....well that is the scoop for me today. i just wanted to add that even though i have not been in blogger land much i do think of my blogging buddies from out of town lots....hope that you all are taking great care of yourselves....and i am trying to take good care of myself.