Tears and tears and then more tears

I find myself full of lots of feelings today...sad and scared are the main ones I think. I did go to COVA today and met with Cory and we set up an interview for Monday with a inbound call center. If I do get the job it will be very very intense during training which is full-time for 3 weeks! I am not real thrilled with my career developer yet I do not want to make waves and/or have to get used to another person. My pain level is better today so am grateful for that. I keep focasing on Will leaving Ohio...and again I am quite grateful and thankful for all of the wisdom and care he has given me and my system yet we will really miss him and besides that change is something that is very hard for me and my parts to deal with. I have mentioned Mike the young man who had cancer - his physical body can rest now he died last evening. Please keep Anya his wife and her family and his in your prayers. I really really need to start cleaning.....have to find where I put my W2 form so that I can do my taxes...I am sure that I will owe this time which then is another stress on how will I pay for them....since I am having to borrow money to buy groceries. It is the kind of day where I would like to just crawl into bed and call it a day but that is not a wise thing to do.....oh I know something else I wanted to mention it is in the 30's today!!! yes it is 40 some degrees colder then yesterday! I was really touched earlier today when I had to go to the doctor on Monday I had to see one of the doctor's that I had not seen....because my doctor had a full schedule all week...well the office called today because he wanted to check on how I was doing which I thought was quite kind of him. It is a day like today where I wish I lived in a town like Andrew does and hang out with him and some of the people he hangs out with.... I also know that I need to hang out with more people...if I had a few dollars I would walk over to the bookstore and hang out but even though lots of people go over and hang out and read and do not buy anything even a cup of coffee I feel funny doing that.I was also thinking earlier today in the space that I am in it would be easy to use but that will only really mess things up....I would be throwing 15 some years down the toilet which would not be good and I would be so upset with myself after I did that! O.K. the phone is ringing again and I have had lots of calls lately where I did not make it to the phone in time and whoever does not leave a message and I just checked and no message and this is probably the 5th time at least today that it has happened! Well guess that is it for now...............................