Sunny Saturday..................
I am back from going to the library. I am glad that I got out a bit but getting out did not help my panic attacks or the hallucinations. It is a day when I am frustrated with the mental illnesses. I am o.k. but not great. I am so relieved that at least I know that the hallucinations are not real. I am thinking of Andrew today with him sharing how he is having a rough day too. I have eaten too much sugar today so I know that I need to start tracking what i eat and when but even that seems like too much today.....but it would be good to know how I eat on the days when some of the mental health symptoms that I deal with are worse.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day which is kind of bittersweet for me..I am happy to take mom out to lunch and if I could would do more....but it is hard for me since I am a Mother but have not seen my daughter since she was 3 days old. I am not regreting the choice that I made to have an adoption plan...I just would like to know now that she is 21 how she is and such. I hope that everyone has a good weekend....think this it for right now and maybe for tonight.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day which is kind of bittersweet for me..I am happy to take mom out to lunch and if I could would do more....but it is hard for me since I am a Mother but have not seen my daughter since she was 3 days old. I am not regreting the choice that I made to have an adoption plan...I just would like to know now that she is 21 how she is and such. I hope that everyone has a good weekend....think this it for right now and maybe for tonight.
posted by mosiacmind at 3:06 PM
2 Comments:
sounds like a really tough day for you--- i'm sorry to hear it.
you know, the panic and depression, and eating-- in my opinion.. goes hand in hand with missing your daughter.
i hope you know that what you did FOR her-- was not a mistake. it was the most selfless thing you could possibly do. selfless and giving, and loving.
i don't know any of the details of what happened in that situation... but i am sure that you can imagine a happy successful young lady in your mind-- who loves you.
really. i'm sure she loves you, appreciates you, and will be thinking of you today.
i hope you can feel good today, knowing you did what was best at the time for you--and her. for whatever reason.
you're still a mom ya know. you gave her life-- you didn't have to do that.
give yourself some credit for being the special person that you are.
i know how easy it is to point out and focus on all the negative we see or have done in our lives-- but even from the little i know about you-- i think you are a wonderful lady--
i hope you have a happy day today.
Thank you soul....SO MUCH for your comment. I think that you are so right on that one thing is going hand in hand with the day that it is today. I am having a better at least start to the day..I do know that it is the right thing for me to do...and I do hope that today that she will think of me and be glad that I made the adoption plan for her...Happy Mother's Day to you Soul.............
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