after therapy..........

I am back from a very busy day which included a therapy session. I feel SO blessed that I am able to go to Center For Eating Disorders and see Will as a therapist...so much in my life has improved and healed since going to CFED and seeing Will....today's session was VERY intense yet I did much work which is always reassuring after an intense session...dealt with some "new" memories of the past which were again horrific at best yet I did walk out of my session not wanting to self abuse and feeling good about the work that I did. I am though frustrated because I am back home now and with needing to grocery shopping and not having much around that I could just eat and not have to cook I orderd Donatos....aka my heroin fix I did order a medium instead of a large so that is a better choice...I did order some wings and did get 6 so that is a better choice then say 12 or more....am hoping that I can make a few meals out of what I ordered. I was thinking that today though was decent eating choices and I did eat breakfast and lunch and now a late dinner so that is great that I will have ate 3 times today. Today was a tiring day with having a appointment with my family doctor this afternoon - it went alright...my blood sugar was good so that is good news that I am doing somethings right some of the time. My pain medication was raised and also she reminded me that I should not be raising it without asking her which I know is true and apologized to her and agreed since I have been clean and sober for many years now it is still a cunning disease and can sneak up one one....I had a busy day yesterday and had a good time of prayer with John and I praying for each other...he prayed lots for my pain and last night and early this morning it was still very intense yet tonight it seems to be much much better! Thank you God! I was also told by my doctor to take the pain medication every day so that it will stay in my system and not hopefully get intense....well hoping that the intense acute cycle is gone for awhile so that I can walk without being in tears and also need to get it together to at least a few times a week go swimming at Victory's but tonight I am telling myself I can just relax and enjoy watching the reruns of House and relax and then maybe if I have energy afterwards to clean some and maybe unpack some of the boxes of things that my mom gave me............one thing that God has been reminding me often of is that I am a whosover....(John 3:16) and I am accepted as a whosoever no matter what is going on with me emotionally or physically or even on those days I feel like I am in Egypt....