Sunday evening...very frustrated with ED

It is about 9:45 p.m. and I am very frustrated with my pain being SO acute and with the amount of the pain medication I am on not taking it all away and at best it might drop it down 30% so am still unable to do much and when I try I end up in tears of frustration and because of the pain...for those of you who do not know me well I have a VERY high pain tolerence...I had natural childbirth with a very long labor time as an example. There are so many things that I want to do but have not been able to do the last couple of days such as something simple like taking much of a walk. I went to Target today eager to have time to wander and such because of my rides which I was so happy about and ended up being sick physically because of the pain and then looked around for maybe 20 minutes or so and had planned to have 3 hours at Graceland and ended up picking up things that I needed and did not feel up to browsing so ended up hanging out at Starbicks reading a book for over 2 hours and upset because I could not do what I had wanted to do....so with the physical pain and then when my I am really emotive that kicks my ED up so which sounds strange with over eating when I am physically not feeling great stomach wise but that goes back to when the ED started as a kid when abuse happened I would head afterwards to food or even before if I knew it was going to be a rough day. It also does not help that the new medication my doctor wanted me to try is not going to work...it makes me feel stoned which is NOT a good thing (ok in the moment yes it feels good) but being in recovery from drug use and being clean and sober for about 12 years now I am not risking that with this new medication. I go to my family doctor this Tuesday and get my what now is going to be my monthly blood work and even though the last few days well week has been rough I did lose weight so that is a positive to tell her. Please pray for my ED not to go to any extreme like sometimes when my stomach is acting up I go to the extreme of not eating for a few days which screws with my metabilism.....I can say that I am proud of myself that even though at times I have made lousy food choices I have not binged for gosh a couple of weeks or so I think.